How Do I Love Thee? Page 8

  ‘A walk, then a dip in the tidal pool if you’re up to it. Give me five minutes.’

  He was back in four wearing low-slung jeans, leather sandals and a muscle shirt that more than lived up to its name. ‘Any more contractions?’ he asked as they rode the lift down to the gardens. For coolness she wore a sarong. She’d stuffed beach towels and bottled water into a tote bag which he took from her and slung over his own shoulder.

  ‘They’re more like tightenings. They’ve stopped for now,’ she said. ‘No need to worry about me.’

  ‘Then can I worry about me?’ he asked. ‘In Uceh I helped out the local midwife in an emergency. My first-aid kit was the closest thing she had to medical supplies.’

  Laura could imagine he’d be a comfort to anyone at such a time. He radiated assurance. But there was still that emotional distance she couldn’t breach. Probably why he was ideal in a situation needing a cool head. For a moment she wished he would let go a little and show something other than calm competence. Was there really a heart inside that sculpted chest, or had it been calcified by his boyhood experiences?

  His emotional state wasn’t her problem, she lectured herself. She would welcome his support to get through this, then let him and the baby go, sure she was doing the best for them all.

  Uncertainty gnawed at Cade as he slowed his long strides to match hers. Couldn’t she see that her baby needed her? Not just willing parents, but a flesh-and-blood mother. He could be confusing Laura’s good intentions with his own feelings at being thrust aside by his mother, but even so, he couldn’t convince himself what she intended to do was right. If anything, his mother’s regrets, voiced by Alice Grollier, showed what Laura could go through in the future. He didn’t want a repeat of his life, for her or her child.

  He wanted her happiness, he realised with a shock. She mattered to him. Seeing her again had triggered a flood of feelings he’d thought long buried. Her quick intelligence, her beauty and her emotional depth spoke to him in ways he could barely put into words. Her stepfather’s actions had wounded her, but she hadn’t walled her feelings off as Cade himself had done. Laura was still open and warm, making him want to bask in her nearness. In the one-shouldered sarong, she looked young and vibrant and so vulnerable, he felt his heart catch.

  ‘What’s the matter?’ he asked, hearing her sharp intake of breath. They’d been out for nearly an hour. He should have insisted on turning back sooner.

  ‘A contraction, a real one this time.’

  He steadied her against his side. ‘I’ll get you to the hospital.’

  She shook her head. ‘Too early. My waters haven’t broken yet, and one contraction every half hour hardly counts as labour.’

  Despite his experience in Uceh he couldn’t argue, though everything in him wanted to cart her to the hospital, willing or not. ‘Luckily we’re almost home.’

  This time she nodded, and let him support her when another contraction gripped her about twenty minutes later.

  ‘Still think I should go to a hotel?’ he asked to distract her.

  She forced a smile. ‘No, I think I should. And let someone else have this baby.’

  ‘Scared?’

  Her eyes were lambent as she looked at him. ‘What do you think?’

  ‘Is fear the reason you don’t want to raise the child yourself?’

  ‘I’m the selfish, career-driven one, remember? What do I know about a child’s needs?’

  He grinned. ‘I think you learn on the job.’

  ‘Some parents never do,’ she said. ‘Yours didn’t, mine didn’t.’

  ‘Des Logan did,’ Cade said softly. ‘He showed me that fatherhood is more than biological.’

  ‘So now you’re an expert.’ Her fingers whitened on his arm as another contraction hit. ‘The job was a lot simpler for Des. He got to raise the kids with no birth mother to complicate the picture.’

  ‘Don’t you mean complete the picture?’

  Something in his voice made her stare at him. ‘What are you saying, Cade?’

  ‘That a mother and child are a package. Des did what he had to because there was no choice. He and Fran always said they’d gladly take a back seat if our real parents wanted to step up to the mark. They just never did.’

  Laura almost stumbled. ‘Oh God, that hurt. I’ll call the hospital from my flat and see what they advise.’

  They had reached her building. ‘My car’s right here if you’d rather go now.’

  ‘This could take hours yet. You can make us some tea while I call the hospital.’

  In the lift, she rested against the wall, looking as if she was ready to slide down to the floor. Focused on her, Cade only noticed they’d stopped after a few seconds of silence. He jabbed the button for her floor. ‘What’s the matter with this thing?’

  ‘It often sticks for a few seconds. It’ll probably restart in a moment.’

  But it didn’t and the silence lengthened. Cade pulled out his mobile phone and cursed. ‘No signal in here.’

  ‘Try the emergency phone,’ she urged.

  He opened the access door and tried the phone. ‘Line’s dead.’

  ‘Oh God, we’re stuck and I’m about to have a baby.’

  ‘You said yourself it won’t happen for hours yet.’

  She gave a thready laugh. ‘Let’s hope I’m right.’

  Digging into the tote, he pulled out a beach towel, wadded it into a pad and eased her to the floor to sit on it with her back against the panelling. ‘That feels better,’ she said thankfully, then gave a startled cry. ‘My waters just broke.’

  Cade tried the emergency phone again. ‘There’s a busy signal this time, so something’s working. Come on, come on.’

  ‘I thought you said you’d done this before?’

  His mouth tightened. ‘Not solo. And I don’t have a first-aid kit this time.’

  ‘Then we’ll make do. I need to change positions.’

  He helped her to straighten and massaged her lower back. ‘Harder,’ she urged. ‘That’s the only thing that feels good.’

  He kept up the massaging movement, ignoring his rapidly cramping hands. They were nothing compared to what she was feeling. The contractions were no more than five minutes apart now, Laura barely gulping in air before she gripped his arm and keened in pain again.

  The phone remained stubbornly unhelpful so he gave up, turning his full attention to Laura. ‘Looks like it’s just you and me, kid,’ he said out of the side of his mouth, the gangsterish tone making her smile weakly.

  ‘I’d rather it was just you,’ she panted.

  He’d spread the towels as a blanket on the floor, and gave her sips of water from a bottle when she was able to drink, using his bandanna soaked in water to dab her face. Most of the time he served as a human punching bag as she clung to him and screamed. He didn’t care. He wished he could take the pain away, even for a few minutes so she could recover. Instead, her suffering worsened until she told him to help her off with her panties.

  The intimacy of the moment shook him. It wasn’t remotely sexual, and yet it was as primal as life got. When she clung to him, he felt closer to her than to anyone he’d ever known, and emotions more powerful than anything he’d ever let himself experience ran like a tsunami through him, making him quake.

  ‘Can you see the baby’s head?’ she cried before giving vent to a long animal howl.

  He held her through it, rocking her against his body. ‘Not yet, but it looks like it won’t be long. You can do this. You’re an amazing woman.’

  Her bleary gaze met his. ‘Next you’ll be telling me you care.’

  ‘I always have, Laura.’

  ‘Yeah, right. Then—get—this—baby—out—of—me.’

  ‘Laura!’ His alarm soared as she slumped. ‘Don’t do this, honey. Stay with me.’

  He checked her pulse. Faint but there. He took a deep breath and pinched her cheek. She dragged in a huge, rattling breath and her eyes flipped open. When she could speak again sh
e gasped, ‘Oh Cade, what if I die here?’

  ‘You won’t die. I love you too much to let you,’ he stated. ‘We’re going to get through this together.’

  ‘But it’s taking so long. Why isn’t anybody coming?’ Her grip almost cracked his hand as she arched her back and screamed in pain.

  How much more of this could she take without relief? He kept his voice level. ‘We don’t need anyone right now. Everything’s under control.’

  Red-faced, she glared at him. ‘Glad you think so. Oh God, I—need—to—push.’

  ‘Go with the feeling.’ He checked her and said triumphantly, ‘The baby’s head is showing.’

  Laura was already exhausted and he wondered where she’d find the strength to bring her baby into the world. Crying and straining, she gave a mighty push and the baby’s head appeared. ‘Keep going. You’re doing great,’ he urged.

  She screamed and gave another push. ‘I have the shoulders,’ Cade encouraged her. ‘I think our little friend has his legs crossed.’

  ‘Next time I’ll make sure mine are.’ Her yell bounced off the panelled walls.

  He saw the ripple of her third pushing contraction and knew her strength was at its limit. Grasping the baby, he gently pulled, feeling a wonderment beyond imagination as the tiny wrinkled body slid into his hands, all smooth and slippery wet. A tiny, reedy cry cut the air, and Cade felt wetness trickle down his cheeks.

  ‘Son, meet your mama,’ he said, his voice husky as he lifted the baby onto Laura’s stomach. Cade was torn between wanting to howl his head off, and beat his chest in a warrior display. Being with Laura, helping her deliver the baby, he felt broken open, raw. And more alive than he’d ever felt in his life.

  Tears spilled down Laura’s cheeks.

  ‘You kept both of us alive.’

  ‘You did all the hard work,’ he reminded her. The sight of the tiny head nuzzling against her made something tighten inside him. ‘You’d have made it, Laura. You always will.’

  ‘That sounds pretty final.’

  He made himself be honest. ‘I thought it’s all you wanted from me.’

  ‘I thought it’s what I wanted, too. Now I’m not so sure.’

  ‘Then you might keep this little guy?’

  She looked down and stroked the downy head with one finger. ‘He seems to have made himself at home.’ She looked up at Cade, her eyes bright. ‘He’s not the only one. Did you mean it when you said you love me?’

  He shuttered his gaze. ‘I know it isn’t what you want to hear—’

  ‘It’s the only thing I want to hear,’ she cut in. ‘And the one thing you never said.’

  ‘I offered to marry you,’ he growled.

  ‘For the baby’s sake, not because you want me.’

  ‘I’ve always wanted you. I just …’ He coughed. ‘I just didn’t know how to say it.’

  ‘Then we have Desmond to thank for showing you the way.’

  Cade felt his eyes brim again. ‘You want to name your son after my foster father?’

  ‘He’s the best role model any child could have. How does Desmond Cade sound?’

  His grin threatened to split his face. ‘It has the perfect ring to it.’

  Could any day be more beautiful than this, Laura asked herself a month later as she came out of the doctor’s surgery. Both she and Desmond Cade had been given a clean bill of health. Cade had done all the right things in the lift, although it had been a huge relief when they were finally freed after a neighbour had called the maintenance company. They’d fixed both the lift and the emergency phone, and had offered a handsome sum in compensation. Happy to accept, she and Cade had agreed they didn’t want a legal battle, considering how well everything had turned out.

  Cade stepped out of the shade to greet her. ‘Everything okay?’

  ‘Any fitter and we’d be dangerous,’ she said, knowing the same could be said of him. He was already dangerous to her peace of mind, and she knew he always would be. But she could live with that, provided he kept looking at her as lovingly as he was doing now, as if she was a gift he’d never expected to receive.

  She shifted the sleeping baby more comfortably in her arms. ‘What did you find out from Alice Grollier’s doctor?’

  Cade’s features shadowed. ‘They think it’s only a matter of hours, so you should see her soon.’

  He moved to take the baby from her, but she shook her head. ‘We’ll all go. Alice is the last link to your mother, and would want you there. You made quite a friend in her.’

  ‘She isn’t hard to like,’ he said, falling into step as she headed towards the hospice building.

  Alice was lying in bed, her skin papery and her eyes closed. Her lids fluttered open and she smiled gently at the sight of Cade at her bedside. ‘Alan, you came. They said you couldn’t get here in time.’

  She groped for his hand and Cade took it, conscious that she wasn’t seeing him but her lost husband, and content to play whatever role gave the older woman peace. ‘You knew I’d come,’ he assured her. ‘I have someone else to see you.’

  Laura moved closer, Desmond Cade cradled in her arms. At the sight, Alice’s eyes filled with moisture. ‘You brought my darling Patrick. They told me …’

  ‘Sssh,’ Laura murmured. ‘Everything’s all right.’

  ‘It is now that I have Alan and my baby here,’ Alice quavered. She crooked her arm. ‘Put him beside me.’

  With a glance at Cade who nodded, Laura placed the tiny bundle into the curve of Alice’s arm. ‘Let me know if he’s too heavy for you.’

  ‘My Patrick could never be too heavy, although I am very tired.’ The woman’s eyes started to drift shut but her mouth tilted into a dreamy smile. ‘So good that you’re here, Alan. Thank you for bringing Patrick. So tired …’

  Cade stroked Alice’s hand. ‘Sleep now, we’ll take good care of the baby.’

  ‘Bless you.’ A sighing breath escaped her lips and her arm slackened on the coverlet.

  With a choked cry, Laura took the baby, cradling him against her. ‘Oh, Cade.’

  He placed an arm around her shoulder, drawing them both close. His family. ‘I know. But look how peaceful she is. In her mind, she had her husband and baby back at last.’

  Laura rested her head on his shoulder, too choked up to say anything. She felt him kiss the top of her head as his fingers stroked the baby’s. It was a shame Alice wouldn’t be there for their wedding in a month’s time. Laura’s married friends had agreed to be Desmond Cade’s godparents, after returning home with news of their own.

  ‘Did I tell you Marylou is pregnant?’ she said now.

  Cade smiled at Laura and the baby. ‘Alice would say that’s just how it ought to be.’

  PACK RULES

  ALEXIS FLEMING

  ‘How do I love thee? Let me count the ways …’

  ‘Oh, what a cutie. Where did you come from? Are you lost?’

  Tori dropped to her knees and held her hand out to the dog. The canine inched nearer, sniffed at her skin, then took a tentative swipe with his long tongue.

  ‘See? Nothing to be scared about.’ She ran one hand along his snout and brought the other up to scratch behind his ear. When the animal angled his shaggy head, she burrowed her fingers in the thick ruff of hair that circled his neck and ended under his chin.

  ‘No collar. Unless you’re microchipped, you’re obviously a stray. And if I don’t miss my guess, some type of cross between a wolf-like breed and a domestic dog.’

  His coat was thick and bulky, charcoal grey with streaks of black. Slanted eyes. Elongated snout. If she didn’t know wolves weren’t found in Australia, except in zoos, she’d swear this was a full-blooded member of the species. Wolfdogs were allowed, but only under very strict conditions. Too big a chance they’d breed with the wild dingoes and create a more vicious breed if they weren’t regulated.

  She tilted the animal’s head up and inspected him. She’d never seen a wolfdog with eyes quite that colour of amber. ‘You�
�re a handsome beast, but I’ll bet you know that already, don’t you?’

  She buried her head in the thick hair behind his ear. The dog turned his head and licked her up the side of her neck. When she jerked back in reaction, he flicked his tongue over her mouth.

  ‘Eww, doggy drool.’ She swiped at her mouth with the back of her hand. ‘I don’t mind kisses, but not on the lips, okay?’

  He nudged at her shoulder. Tori lost her balance, falling onto her butt in the dust. The dog gambolled about her, licking wherever he found bare flesh. Bizarre for a stray to be so friendly. Perhaps he had a family out there. She’d ask around and see if anyone had missed him. In the meantime, he could stay here at the dog shelter.

  She sat up, laughing at the dog’s antics. He tucked his muzzle into the curve of her neck and Tori heard a distinctive sniff. He snuffled his way down her body, finally burying his nose in her crotch.

  Tori pushed him away. ‘Bad dog, enough of that. That is not a gentlemanly thing to do to a girl.’ The canine stretched his mouth wide and she could have sworn he was grinning at her. Her lips twitched. Boys will be boys, animal or human.

  ‘See you’ve found a new friend, Victoria.’

  Tori whipped her head around to find her adopted father, Ross Calligan, standing behind her. She was supposed to be on her guard. She hadn’t even heard him approach.

  Ross Calligan had been the local vet for as long as she could remember. And after her parents were killed in a car accident when she was thirteen, he’d adopted her. Because of the head injury she’d suffered in the crash, she couldn’t remember much of her earlier years, but she had an occasional flash of a much younger Ross bouncing a young child on his knee.

  Ross ran his hand over the dog’s head. A grin pulled at his mouth. ‘Think you should be cavorting in the dirt with a strange male? You never know who he might be.’

  ‘Nothing strange about this beautiful fellow. He’s just a little lost. He can stay here until we find out if he belongs to anyone.’

  ‘Oh, I don’t think he’d allow anyone to own him. Probably the other way around. I get the feeling he’d make his own rules.’